On Set with Nowhere To Go

Sitting on a set, watching your lines get butchered by amateur actors is almost as painful as getting a knife jabbed into your side, or so I assume. Last weekend I decided to let a friend of mine, 'Franklin', film a short movie I wrote a long time ago so he could pass a film class at USC. He wanted brilliant, I gave him intelligent, and he managed to convert that into insipid, incongruous, garbage. Apparently being a director/producer was simply his way of getting a certain girl on the casting couch and making her feel like a 'star' only to bed her at the wrap party when the shoot was done. We spent twelve hour days from Friday through Sunday, filming in a house in Bel Air where I tried to lounge by the pool and ignore when I was not needed, but the mispronunciation and 'improvisational' (if you can call it that) work of the actors echoed through the large empty house and almost made my ears bleed. My left ear still hurts. 'George' thinks its an earache, but I know what it is. . .butchering. The shoot tripped overitself countless times : mike's in shots, lighting errors resulting in grotesque shadows, actors forgetting lines over and over and over then making them up (AHHH!) and finally, to add to all this amateurish filmmaking, the PA they conned into helping out ended up rolling the steady cam mounted on a skate board into the jacuzzi. Cinelease will not be pleased. 'Franklin' was having a meltdown and we sat in a small gazebo away from everyone and smoked a joint while the crew took turns raining insults on the poor PA and I felt bad for him until I found out that he ended up fucking the girl 'Franklin' wanted the night before and that's why 'Franklin' was showing him no mercy. Good for him. As 'Franklin' and I sat under the trees and felt the warmth of a California Fall Sun cut through the branches and got very stoned off very good weed he asked me how everything was going. I proceeded to tell him about 'Beth' and he started laughing. 'Always the same shit, huh, _____'. I didn't know what he meant and he expanded : 'You meet a girl, you think you're in love, you fuck everyone else, you fuck this up, and then you're single for, like, a day, till you meet another girl.' He shook his head, laughed, and follwed this with 'I'd say 'lucky bastard', but after hearing this for seven years, I doubt I could envy you'. He rolled his eyes when someone pushed the PA in the pool and left me there so he could take control of what he called 'his set'. His words sent me through a series of flashbacks where I relived ever relationship I've had as of late. And he was right. Perhaps I did have a problem with commitment, or rather I committed too much too often to too many people. I picked up my phone on Sunday afternoon and called 'Erin'. She sweetly answered the phone and I told her it was over. Whenever she tried to argue back I'd say 'It's over'. She yelled at me for almost an hour while the PA was drying off and the last shot was being set up and I let her because maybe I felt I deserved it. Eventually she hung up in a huff and I called a locksmith, who came by the shoot, picked up my house keys, and went to my house where he changed the locks and returned at night with a new set of keys. What was so impressive about this was that 'Franklin' knew of a locksmith that worked on Sundays. I went home at around midnight and my house was empty and nobody was home and I realized that 'George' didn't have the keys to the house anymore and was supposed to come over after a wrap party for some play and I went out back and found him asleep in a lawn chair. I left him there, but left the back door open, and when I woke up the next day he was on the couch. Over the past few days I've recieved twelve angry messages from 'Erin', and I've turned my cell phone off because of them. She never came off psycho in any of the messages. It was almost pitiful, the tears behind the insults she tried to hurl at me. The last message she wasn't crying, wasn't angry, wasn't anything. She just said 'hi' and 'can we try to be friends'. 'Beth' came over last night and we watched STOKED, the movie about Gator the skateboarder (awesome) and this morning she is kissing my neck while I write this and she's going to work late and I feel unburdened for once. I'm thinking about giving 'Beth' a set of my house keys. . .but maybe not.

Comments

A wise man who is much younger than I once told me to "fuck her in the ass and kick her to the curb"...I'm thinking you may be the same age as he. You're too young to die. Live.

[SpitFire]

Hang on to the keys for a while longer there Big Guy.

[aparadox]

Beth seems like a nice girl. Maybe a little early for an extra set of keys.

[BGC]

Do not give her a set of keys, I repeat do not give her a set of keys.

This is coming from a woman who after knowing her husband for only three months married him three months later.

[JCanuck]

Take it slowly Rocker. Keep the keys to yourself for now. And good for you about Erin, despite her anger it's better that she know sooner rather than later. As someone once said to me "It's not mercy to hang a man slowly". The same goes for ending relationships I think.

Now, repeat after me "I deserve to be happy...I deserve to be happy". And if you feel temptation pulling you towards screwing it all up, try to remember the word "sabotage", maybe it will make you think twice.

[Sass]

Give me the keys.

Sorry, that was a bit like Amelia, now wasn't it?
Yes, I'd take it slow on this one as well, Rocker.

Sass

[rancette]

poor baby, take care. call me anytime you want. 818-555-5420

[nikola1tesla]

Magnificent! Ahhh!

Are sex or romance or fighting a real problem? I think you live and die by your art, and that all these catastropic sexual hook-ups somehow add fuel to your fire. Your passion is explosive. I love it like that.

I'll be over here ignoring you unless you want some bomb ganga brother.

Meanwhile, as long as Franklin's a regular good old boy who's not out to hurt anyone---tell him I'll come out & drunk fuck him happy just to see him smile.

Hopefully that'll get his mind off his dick & back to doing good work. I'd sure get a kick out of it myself-- I love giving back to the honest artists who rack their brains bringing so much beauty & excitement to the rest of us drudge-aholics. I'm just as fascinated with the film industry as they are.

Years ago I fell so in love with the man who's now my best friend. Our friendship is based not on sex-- but on the fact we were usually fucking everyone but each other, and we were always using our own time together for just about everything else- for discovering the rest of what the natural and spiritual worlds offer. We've stayed friends through all these years without jealousy. When we met-we were both strippers-- both of us made our money having sex & making films with countless strip-club groupies-- so much so that it was more a tiring team sport or like a trip to the gym or to the dentist-- a professional work out that handled crucial personal business, let off steam, & made people feel good, but which didn't figure into our equations of romantic love, of familial belonging, of deep respect for things beyond the temporary and the physical. If I acted the fool around him-- he'd set me straight rather than let me self-destruct. You don't get that kind of trust & protection just anywhere. He's got a steady girl now-- but through all his loves & losses I know I've got a lifelong "brother" I'll love & respect forever. Sometimes I wish I knew you better, but I know I'm not the one you need.

My guess is that you're not ever going to quit fucking around & falling into infatuations for that quick rush-- but that you want someone special of your own who won't disrespect you because of it--someone you can rely on who will understand that you love your work and your art and your friends and your self, and that you just might hate anything that interferes too much, affects your work, & tries to corner you, even if it's good sex or good love from a woman-- even if it's a good fight with a friend.

Unless you're just testing Beth & teasing yourself-- don't trust her or anyone you don't know well with your keys.

Stay cool captain. Like I said-- I've got a blunt & a hug for you if you ever want them. I'm sitting on the dock of the bay here at home til then, watching the sun rise and the sun set, ignoring you & waiting for your next update.

[JCanuck]

Of course, the problem with having a relationship is that it leaves less time to blog, lol

[Rocker]

Sorry for the delay in blogging. . .had a long weekend and an uneventful week...but I'll be adding something tonight and tommorrow. . .sorry...

[nikola1tesla]

No worries Rocker. Thanks for checking in. ~The purple's still sticky for ya-- the hugs are always warm.

[Rubber Duckie]

Rocker,

The last of the PTI is winding up next week. As I had originally offered, I'm asking to confirm, will you take the #36 spot, the final and last entry of the PTI...this means you get to write the ending. This will come around on Thursday, October 28th, next week...let me know something by Friday, October 22nd...Okay??

Sincerely,
RDD

[Sass]

Oh wow, Rubber. You mean Rocker gets the ending?...that won't do!
You know what he's best at.....leaving the ladies wanting more!
That's his specialty.
Actually this could be good.
Challenge his writing....force him to make some decisions....make him create a fulfilling climax!!!! Satisfy ALL the Rance readers...

Yes. Hope he does it.

later

S

[Sass]

sorry, didnt mean to be the no.13

[JCanuck]

No apologies necessary Rocker, and am glad that your week has been uneventful. That's probably a good sign ;)

We just missed you, that's all...