Everytime I Live

'Erin' left around noon and kissed my cheek and said that she was glad that we got to spend time together and I ask her for my keys back. There is an awkward silence as she stares at me, questioningly, then she laughs and jumps in her A4 and pulls away and blows me a kiss and I'm standing outside in my boxers with my hand out waiting for the keys that are slowly pulling away from the Hills in 'Erin's purse. Later that night I pick 'Beth' up and we go to Brennen's to watch little turtles race for the outside of a ring where a fat man whose accomplished very little goads women to bend over as they place the turtles in the center of the ring. 'Beth' wants no part of touching the turtles and I want no part of her getting salivated on by drooling men so we sit inside and drink gin and tonics and listen to a cover band play 'Sweet Home Alabama' and my college friends meet up with us and they are impressed with her and she kisses me on the lips every few minutes as she gets slightly drunker. We try to dance and my friends tell me that she is very cool and I can't help but agree and Beth and I return to my place and for a moment I'm afraid 'Erin' will be there but she isn't and I lock the chain bolt which I never use otherwise. Me and Beth jump in my pool, fully clothed, and I open a bottle of champagne and we kiss and she says she's going to take a sick day tommorrow and we finish the bottle and fall into bed and explore each other for hours. She still won't let me have sex but I'm not stressing because I'm getting lost in her long tan legs and tight stomach and Thursday night blends into Friday and we spend the day in bed playing with each other and 'Erin' calls seven times and I turn off my cell phone. Friday I have a party at my place and 'Beth' invites her friends and I invite my guy friends and 'George' is being discreet with the coke, thank god, because I'm not sure how 'Beth' will take it. We dance all night and drink and more people I don't know show up and we all sing Poison's "something to Believe in" while we can still stand and eventually Beth and I fall back into my bedroom and 'George' winks at me and tells me he'll take care of the place cause he'll be up all night and me and Beth finally have sex and she tells me she wants it and being inside her is amazing and it could have been romantic but I think its just perfect. . .her body on top of mine, us kissing as I slide in and out of her and all our friends outside singing 'Every Rose has a Thorn' and 'Fly to the Angels' and 'I Won't Forget you, Baby'. After we're done she says 'thank you' and kisses me forever and our eyes close and we fall alseep to a serenade of 'Patience'. We wake up Saturday and 'George' is making omelettes and looks like he's been up all night with 'Kelley' a very skinny, very attractive friend of 'Beth's' whose been up all night with him and 'George' pulls me aside and tells me he's been talking to her all night and 'really likes her' and this could mean anything with him in the state he's in right now but 'Kelley' is talking to 'Beth' and they whisper and giggle like we're in 6th grade all over again. People start pulling themselves off couches and lawn chairs outside and we eat and 'Nick' makes bloody Mary's and 'Darryl' suddenly walks in, saying he went over to some girl's place, and knew we'd be up and the party starts again and we watch college football and my eyes constantly touch 'Beth's and I know that tonight I have to do something about 'Erin' so I call her when I get away for a second and 'Erin' is in New York on a shoot and says 'miss me?' and I have no answer. I tell her I'll pick her up at the airport Sunday. That night a girl who was promoted to Agent has a party and we go and drink too many Jack and Cokes and Beth and I go home early because we're so tired and my place is a mess and smells like vodka tonic and we ignore it and fall back into bed and she asks me to 'go slow' and when I'm finally inside her again her moans drive me wild and I have to focus so much on not exploding and she realizes this and pulls my hair back, which is getting longer, and says to just go and I do and we collapse on each other covered in sweat and this time I say 'thank you' before we fall asleep on Saturday night...

Comments

[JCanuck]

Woohooooooooo! Rocker hon, I sure hope that this isn't fiction, because I'm smiling for you after reading this. Not only that, but we might get George straightened out too, LOL. As for Erin, DON'T do it. No, no, no! Change the locks if you have to.

[Sass]

Huh.

What did ya' say canuck....???

Oh. uh....uh.....

Oh Lordie! To be Beth....

later
Sass

[Tess]

I'm kinda new here Rocker but I gotta agree with JCanuck....change those locks fast.

Lucky Beth!!!

Tess

[nikola1tesla]

YOW!

THANK YOU ROCKER!!!!! I'm flushed & blushing & my heartbeat is rushing now, that was a fucking complete sexual thrill. THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!! :)

I miss those days-- there were so many like that when I worked in bars & dance clubs-- I really miss the cameraderie-- the juke-box songs everyone knew-- the quarter games, the subtle pairing off & the constant open boisterous friendliness. I miss expecting the best out of people-- assuming everyone else was just like me & just wanted to make a happy compassionate world of genuine friends & lovers to make the work work more bearable.

I don't miss the paranoia & the bail & lawyer fees & the prison visits & the collect calls that come as the aftermath of a grapevine where people like George weren't as discreet as everyone assumed. My brain is so tangled with really missing the freedom to explore & carry on & trust new people again. I want those days back where I could just revel in being young & fully taste each thing as it came without so much intense paranoia-- without the risks of losing everything I love. But Blah. Those days have to be long gone for my own sanity & freedom-- for the sake of my gorgeous sons. Enjoy it while it lasts brother-- it may never come again. Life sucks after being caught up.

Do this--CHANGE your locks. I don't know if you're setting us up for a punchline or a plot twist or what-- but that guy that Beth's roommate brought by kinda bugs me too-- the way he might have thought he knew you. What's up with that? Do your best to place that face & make sure it's not a problem. See-- I'm on permanent paranoid. It sucks!!

Ok-- now that I'm done with my own unavoidable depression & jealousy at not being Beth-- I'm going back to read this fucker again to get another viacarious hit your your boo-ya baby sexcapades & concentrate on how I'm glad for you that you're getting some good tail. Think about getting one of those sex swing that hang from the ceiling-- I hear they're all the rage.

Swing low.... sweeet chariooot.... :)

[Rubber Duckie]

Rocker, I sent you an email...I need a response asap. Thanks for your attention.

Sincerestly,

RDD