Looks That Kill

Los Angeles doesn't change from one day to the next, and one's appreciation for the season's manifests inside you when you go somewhere else. Arriving back from New Orleans I'm quick to criticize the concrete jungles around LAX, but soon find myself in the Hollywood Hills and back at home and as I stand by my pool and enjoy a Bloody Mary, shoddily made by 'George', my welcome wagon, I'm forced to fall in love with the city. From this view any amount of shit could look lovely. I spend Monday, Tuesday, and most of Wednesday cooped up in my house cleaning the mess that 'George' managed to make while he house sat. Coke residue on glass tables, dirty sheets, dirty dishes, stains on my couch that won't go away that 'George' is going to have to pay for. Also, I've been dancing back and forth with my Agent on notes and he's got a new Assistant who sounds cute on the phone but I was told, a long time ago by someone who mentored me in my early days, that sleeping with an Agent's Assistant, ANY Agent's Assistant, while being talent was never a good idea and could always bite you back in the end. Last night, however, I managed to make it out into the city and went to a random party where everyone was dressed as their 'Dream Job'. Needless to say, I doubted the honesty behind some of the costumes because I expected girls as doctors/lawyers/CEO's and instead saw Naugty Nurses, Strippers, Hookers, and a lot of girls claiming to be President but wearing Skirts much to short for a Commander in Chief and tops busting out so much that it's doubtful Congress's old white men would get much done. I dressed up as a Stock Broker because I always thought that I'd be good at that, if I didn't pull myself away from the Math during College. 'George' dressed up as an 'Actor', very original, and our buddy 'Thomas' came as an ESPN analyst. We all looked like stock brokers. Most of the guys looked like other people I knew and I kept getting names mixed up and eventually I met a cute Nurse who disappeared after a lot of dancing and I drank one too many Jack and Cokes and ended up getting my crotch grabbed on the back patio in Beverly Hills by 'Erin'. She was dressed as a teacher and something about a girl who can look good with glasses drives me nuts. She was drunk and I was drunk and I couldn't help it and I took her back to my place and we had sex in my hot tub and 'George' came in with some guys and some more girls while we were having sex and we had to stop and we started doing drugs and 'Erin' all of a sudden got really cold and I got very angry and had 'George' take everyone to his place and 'Erin' left with them and I was alone again. It was 5am and I drank more Jack Daniels straight from the bottle and called the Script Girl and left her a message and I don't know what I said but I woke up dressed as an overworked, out all night, uncontrollable Stock Broker on a chair in my backyard and Motley Crue's 'Hooligan's Holiday' is playing on repeat for some reason and the sun is baking me and I wonder what happened to Fall or if Winter is even coming to Los Angeles this year. I write ten pages of crap and my Agent doesn't return my calls. My internet is down so I have to take my laptop to the Grove to use the WiFi and I get an email from the Script Girl that says 'have fun last night?' and I feel like an ass. I call her back and she laughs at me and then asks me to take her out one night because she never does anything fun and I think I like her but the world I was in last night isn't the same world I want to inhabit with her and I ask her if she'll let me take her to dinner sometime this weekend to make up for the drunk call and she giggles and says 'of course' and I tell her I'll call her on Friday and I can't believe the luck I have sometime. I haven't been to the gym in two weeks...I've got to go before I see the Script Girl...because...

Comments

[Bloggermouth Ken]

Hey Rocker

I quite enjoy reading your blog. If I could make a visual design suggestion and please don't take this the wrong way. I would advise that when you compose your entries, that you break up the post into bite sized paragraphs. This makes it much easier to read. It is a visual ergonomic thing that has been hammered into me over the years. My friends call me a design snob and perhaps they're right.

[Sass]

Oh, leave him alone Ken.
He's doing just fine. Ha.
Sigh.

Sass

[JCanuck]

because...you plan on having "hero" abs? hehehe mouah to you Rocker!

I know what you mean about the seasons, and time seems to run into one long and uninterrupted blur. I have that where I am, and the days are all the same, 12 hours of sun, 12 hours of night. But home is home, and I'm always glad to set my suitcases down again. I don't usually come back to unidentified stains on the couch though.

I love costume parties, we had a group of good friends two countries back with whom we often did this sort of thing, we'd take turns in hosting them and the yard and house would be fully decorated in whatever the theme was. I have a trunk full of various costumes, Freya the Norse goddess, Felicity Shagwell (that was the most fun of all), Cavewoman, belly-dancer and so on. We haven't yet found enough people here yet with whom we are comfortable enough to really let go and have one of those sort that everyone ends up in the pool at 4 a.m. doing laps with their champagne glasses held above the water and the winner is he/she who manages to spill the least. Fun, and then the next morning I am brutally reminded that I am no longer 20. :(

[nikola1tesla]

Hey Rocker.......

I lived with a boyfriend for about a year who went from being a Stanford English Major/poet/musician to being a bloodless Stock Broker.

His theory was that if he made a fortune by working hard for 10 years, he could retire at 30 and be a rocker for the rest of his life-- a poet, a musician, a spirital seeker.

At Merrill Lynch, the first 2 years are dedicated to professional development"-- work from 5Am til 9pm many days--endless networking parties and telemarketing.

Your job is to try to get people to buy into funds that promote global privitaization-- that prey on and exploit 3rd world countries. Your job is to convince your marks that you are an expert who can use all the resources of a huge company to grow wealth. Your job is to get people to trust you with their life savings, by giving them a really good gladhanding tap dance.

When those Stock Brokers party-- they play Grateful Dead and Metallica and Pink Floyd and Pearl Jam and Frank Zappa-- they get massively drunk and high as fock, making vicious looking approximations of Jackson Pollack paintings and collages that resemble aborted babies. They leer out windows to check out the "noon poon," fantasisin what it might feel like to be more human and less numbet-crunching mechanical.

These young men with so much soul are smart enough to understand what they are suddenly doing for a living, and it kills some of them-- on the inside first, and then it really shows to the outside world over time..... when it registers how deeply they're entrenched in being predetors against their fellow humans.

It especially haunts their eyes, the tired hard sell of and endless fantasy. My boyfriend went crazy and tried to hang himself after a year of working like this.

Perhaps I'm incredibly biased. I'm sure there are a few very cool Stock Brokers out there somewhere-- but on the whole the whole profession remiinds me of zombie vampire snake oil hucksters. you mat as well have said you dreamed of being a politician.

Please Rocker-- stay a Rocker. And a writer. Stock Brokers dream of making money so they can have the time to be like you.

[nikola1tesla]

BTW-- lovely lady wearing glasses well....

http://www.amylaxineta.com/glasses.jpg

[JCanuck]

So, the date? I am dying to know how it went. Well, I hope.

[JCanuck]

Wow, that must have been a hell of a date, you've been in the gym ALL DAY doing crunches?

[nikola1tesla]

..because
because
Because
BECAUSE
BECAAAAAAUUUUUUSSSSSSSSE!!! .......

BECAUSE OF THE WONDERFUL THINGS SHE DOES!!

Damnit Rocker-- You're pissing me off.... DISH MAN!! DISH!! What's up with ScriptGirl??!!

[BGC]

We're waiting......Rocker.

[JCanuck]

Boy oh boy, I sure hope that Script Girl didn't turn out to be a psycho or something. You're not lying on your couch, watching your life's blood drain away, badly staining the couch, are you?

[JCanuck]

Am I the only one who has started doing Google searches for "screenwriter"+"OD"? Where are you?